The Emotional Set-Up

Good men are hard as hell to come by, especially black men. Truth be told, there are some brothas out there that are straight posers. They tell you intimate stories about past relationships to get you suckered in, and then BAM the set up. You’re thinking that he is opening up to you, because he wants to get closer but that isn’t always the case.

There was one guy I knew that told me how much he was hurt by his ex girlfriend. He said how he loved her, but she cheated on him and now he feels too scared to open up his heart to anyone right now. This made me feel like OMG he told me this because he feels comfortable enough with me to express his pain. We got closer, but he always wanted to not get “official” stating he wasn’t quite ready for a serious relationship. I WAS PLAYED!!!!

Dude was spitting that line to about 2 different women. He made it seem that he was so focused on healing, but he realized this whole emotional game granted him pussy access with women. Once I peeped his game, I dipped and never looked back. Even though I was younger I knew that game playing wasn’t in the cards for me. Now that I think of it, that whole ex girlfriend hurt him shit could have been fake as hell.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some men out there that are focusing on healing. They really don’t want to get serious and they tell you that from jump. It is up to you, to deal with that damaged man or not. Men are unlike women. A woman gets her heart broken, she tries to heal but she still feels that her love is out there. Men get hurt and they lock up shop, they rarely wear their hearts on their sleeve. They basically make every woman that comes along, pay for what that one woman did to him. It’s not fair, but that is the difference between the two sexes. You just have to be aware of what you’re getting yourself into with a man that refuses to heal.

Holla at me: What do you think about this subject?

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2 thoughts on “The Emotional Set-Up

  1. VI, if i didnt know any better, i couldve sworn you and i were joined at the spine or something at birth LOL!!! I soooooooooo feel this post, like no other. I just went through this sh*t – and although i do believe him when he told me about being hurt in his past, im mad at me for "dealing with that damaged man".

    Some men do use this as line. Others simply need that time. But my gripe is, if youre not ready to move on yet, dont look at me crazy when i say that i cant be patient understanding about it. like im a horrible woman because im not patient enough to sit around and wait for you to resolve your issues (though there werent any issues when it came to sex – go figure). And i dont think i got a fair opportunity – he was so damn scorned, he was WAITING for me to f*ck up. i dont know, V. It was too difficult dealing with that; i tried but it was in vain.

    Bottomline though is that yes, its definitely an emotional setup but we often set up our damn selves.

  2. Nik,

    Girl EXACTLY!!!! We sometimes set ourselves up dealing with a damaged man. They want to keep their hearts protected, but their dicks are open for business. They look for you too fuck up so they can say "All women are the same". It's not fair on us but we have to do what's right for us. We shouldn't have to wait until he "heals" and half the time that shit never happens.

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