I love being in relationships, but when I actually get involved with someone it only lasts a short time. I’ve affectionately named myself “The Relationship Killer”. I’m not poking fun at my misfortune, but the shit has started to become re-dam-diculous. Even though I give other people advice, I can’t seem to get my shit cracking the way it should.
If I told you how many relationships I’ve actually been in, you would look at me like I’m a damn fool. Even though I’ve had a lot of romantic connections, I’ve only been in love 3 times. I don’t know if it’s the men I choose, or the fools that are attracted to me but I have been in love with the same type of negros. They have three things in common …1. They were fine…I mean so fine that if you looked at them your panties will instantly appear in their back pockets. 2. Manly…I love a man that is all man. No simple, crying, whimpering idiot. My personality is too hard to handle a man that cries at Hallmark commercials. 3. Attract too many women…This was my major issue. I dealt with men that were so accustomed to being the center of attention to so many women; they couldn’t get into giving their attention to one chick. This has been the pattern I have followed and I don’t know why.
I can’t blame it all on the men I date, because I got some fucked up issues too. Hell my issues stemmed from the men I dated, so fuck yea I’m blaming their asses. The thing is I know that I have these issues, and I’ve been trying to work on them. A lot of chicks I know try to deny that they’re the ones with the problem, then cry and bitch when they end up alone. Some people say the reason I get into the shit I get into is because I act too much like a man. I was highly offended because I thought they were calling me mannish or something. They just simply said because I am so strong minded, it scares men away. So what the hell am I suppose to do, pretend I don’t have a mind and my own opinions just to keep a man? Or should I play the helpless damsel in distress so I can boost his ego and make him feel like he’s saving me from myself? Hell Naw!!!!! I do admit that I could use some toning down, but I will never down play my intelligence to make a man feel comfortable. I’ve been in this thing too long, to just sit back and let some bitch ass try to control me.
I might need to attend relationship rehab, if there is such a place. I can say this; every and I do mean every ex boyfriend I have ever had has tried to rekindle something with me. And you know my motto; if I am turned off I can’t be turned back on. My friends always ask me the same thing “Why don’t you give it another chance”. Well I have this thing about looking stupid, so I refrain from doing stupid shit. I don’t go backwards….I move forward. So I’m single again, and refusing to get involved with anyone in any kind of way. Yes when I say any kind of way, I mean what you think I mean. No dick pleasing for me, until I am in a suitable relationship. You’re probably thinking “Damn, this bitch done gone bonkers”, no I’m all here sitting at the computer with an R-Kelly Zorro mask on. Lol, I just think at this stage in my life I need more than just what I’ve been getting. Hell I deserve it. So this is me; the celibate relationship/sex blogger that refuses to have sex or relationships. Damn that shit does sound crazy. I hope you guys still love me through my struggle. *Throwing the black power sign*
I know this is kind of deep for a Friday, but this shit has been on my mind and I needed to share it.
Love ya tender,
V.I Chick
