The Responsibilites of a Side Chick

side chick situation

Being a side chick is never always easy. Sure you may have a little more freedom than wifey, but in reality you’re being clocked a little harder. Some women never know they are the side chick. Most women actually find out they’re that chick when they’re already in there. That means feelings have gotten involved and that word LOVE done ran through your mind. You know, stupid shit like that. Then there are the chicks that know the position from jump street. They go into it, knowing that there is another woman at the house and basically don’t give a damn as long as she gets hers. Now I’m not about to throw a whole lot of shade of these chicks, because truth be told I was a side chick in the past. So I’m somewhat familiar with the plight of the side chick.

I sorta kinda became a side chick unexpectedly. Years ago I met someone and off the bat he told me he had a girlfriend at home. Now in my mind I didn’t give a f*ck because I had no intentions on carrying on anything with this dude. The more I got to know him, the more I became attracted to him. I wasn’t focused on his girl, because in my mind all the attention he was giving me made her feel non-existent. In the beginning a man gives a woman the attention she wants so he can do two things; 1) Secure her ass into thinking that this is something that she will constantly get once she stays with him. 2) Turn her mind away from any other man that might be interested in her. So he was trying to get me hooked to all this “I want to spend all my time with you”. So I stayed away from other men, I didn’t go out with my girls that much anymore, hell I even called this dude “my man” in front of other people. You gotta be a real somebody for me to do that shit. Plus, anything I wanted I got; so you know my ass wasn’t going anywhere.  In turn I created a happy environment for him…I never nagged him. I knew he had a woman at home and I accepted that. I knew this was something I got into and I had to live with my choice. I never allowed myself to think of her…until.

One day I went to see him at our spot and I noticed he was acting a little funny. Now I am very observant so I wanted to take note of his actions. We were sitting in the car and I was seated in the drivers seat, so I know something was wrong when he wasn’t completely facing me. So I decided to lean forward and kiss him. Now kissing him wasn’t really on my mind I just needed to get closer. I got closer and I noticed something on his neck. This mother sucker had a damn hickey on his neck. That was the moment I knew being a side chick wasn’t for me. I grabbed his neck and looked at that shit. I asked him what the hell was that, and he gave me some dumb ass story about he was in bed sleeping and he wakes up to her sucking on his neck. Yo I was born at night, but not that night. I got so pissed I tried to kick his ass out my car. He got out begging and pleading with me. He came over to the driver’s side of my car and opened my door. Now…when I tell someone to leave me alone I mean it. He wouldn’t let me go the hell on so I drove the f*ck off. WHILE HIS ASS WAS STILL HOLDING ON TO MY DOOR. Dude was screaming telling me to stop and shit. Now I know I was wrong for what I did, but seeing that shit made me realize HE WASN’T, ISN’T AND NEVER GONNA BE ALL MINE. I was sharing!!! And I don’t like to share anything other than wisdom and the occasional d*ck pics sent to my phone. *I’m kidding about the pics…no I’m not. Fellas, If the spirit moves you email them to me. LOL*J/K

You gotta be really in love or really strong to survive as a chick on the side. I vowed no matter how I feel for the person to never involve myself in something like that again. The kicker was that he talked about leaving her. A man will say that shit just to keep you at bay with the hopes that he will leave. I realized also, I never wanted to be the cause of a man leaving another woman to be with me anyway. Sure I would get him all to myself, but chances are he will do the same shit to me that he did to her. If ya’ll don’t know by now, I BELEIVE in that bitch called karma and she don’t play. I will be damned if I let my selfishness and stupidity f*ck me over in the future. Hell no! I rather be alone in bed dreaming of a sea full of  big d*cks than have someone else’s man in my bed. You can keep that there.

Holla at me: Have you ever been in a side chick situation? If so, how did it turn out?

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15 thoughts on “The Responsibilites of a Side Chick

  1. I have been that side chick and that ish isn’t easy. Let me tell u my girl, we woman accept it thinking couple things; 1) that I got the power for him to leave his chick; 2) we are stronger than we think when in acutality we are so weak, they breathe we melt; and 3) We down play our actual feelings and act as everything is all cool and dandy. You know when we get a reality check, when it is staring us in the face and we realize how deep we are caught up in that mess. It isn’t easy but I will not play that role again!

  2. NO Clue Still on why some ladies do that.. it’s like u settle 4 less u will never get more… If it start crocked it cant get straight… well that’s what I think…
    Big Up Candy Diaries all the time….

  3. It’s just the wrong place to be. You should never accept half of someone thinking that it makes you whole. You need to be whole and they need to be whole. If you settle for being the side chick you need to evaluate yourself because you are insufficient somewhere and you need to heal yourself. Trust this is all fact no fiction…

    BTW, u know I love the Blog!

  4. that was a great post. a good friend of mine ‘red’ asked me to be his side chick, after months of turning him down i told myself ‘i’ll just try it and see’. am i stepping into trouble, yup, but i like to experience things at least once.


  5. Being a side chick is one of the worse things 2 do…let me tell u now because i have seen it 1000 times (all girls school grad!!) he is NOT gonna leave wifey for u…EVA!!…i stop feeling bad when i seen girls crying etc. doesn't matter how much you love him or think you love him…they forget the feeling has 2 b shared!!!

  6. Soooooo I was a side chick in high school or far too long I found myself on the phone crying most the time. I said I would NEVER do it again and for 4 years I didnt . Today I find myself in love with someone who is in love with their girlfriend :( i feel so weak and I am so mad at myself for getting back in this situation. Ugh ADVICE; never be a side chick ! I’m ready to find someone of my own this post was inspiring /:) -

  7. If u are looking for a serious relationship than I wouldn’t suggest being a side chic but if u just want to have a good time and dont want a serious relationship than do it. You should never commit yourself to someone that is playing the field. The whole thing about being a side chic you have to know your position. If he did it to her he will do it to you.

  8. yea, being the side chiik is pretty crazy. i myself am in that position and it just isnt for me. i find myself thinking about dude when ever he aint around and all that curte shit. i realize if the man makes u a side chiik its for a reason, he’ll like you, but he’ll never love you. Instead, he’ll love your pussy. And thats just not fair, I feel like im better than that.Alotta females do this common mistake but i dont look at it as a mistake, more like the experience. Now, its kinda hard to let go but at the end of the day, I’ve learned my lesson and thats to RUN THE FUCK AWAY from situations like that. It just aint right. PLUS Dude wasn’t even buying me anything or taking me out, the only thing he ever did right was the sex part (not surprised tho -.-). its just best to walk away once u have the chance.

  9. yes Ive just recently cut all ties with this guy who Ive been having sex with before and after he was dating his wifey, its hard now because he is well known in my town and my city is small enough, but I know how to ignore him…he has given me money, sex and even told me he liked me on two occassions which was full of shit…so now when I see happy couple its best to smile, be pleasant, congratulate and move on because he lost the best he can never have :) *flips hair rocks shades*

  10. I ended up a side chick without knowing too. I dated a fine looking man we ended up back at his place. There was kissing we hit the sheets and it was amazing. This guy was bette than some of the photos of bait and tackle you forward around.
    Like a dude he dozed off into a sex indused slumber. I went to use his bathroom and was confrounted with high dollar makeup on the sink. There was no way it was his. He has son’s part time could not have been theirs either at least I hoped not.
    When he awoke I confrounted him and learned he had a girlfriend. That she was his ‘emotional support’ and nothing more. I smiled played nice and he drove me hime.
    After that he only wanted to meet at a park, he never took me in public again. Then this dude switched to a work cell with a private number so I was at his beck-n-call only. I very much disliked not being able to call or text him, when he called the conversation was little more than phone sex.
    Then I attended a charity event and saw them together he was all smiles with his son’s and his wife.
    I left before he saw me changed my cell number and moved on.
    I deserve far better than being some sneeky dudes side chick!
    Another side chick stole this dudes dog about four months later, so I know my ditching the dirt bag did not hurt him. It did help me I got my self respect back. Oh and now I have his dog and we are best friends MoJo is the coolest chocolate lab in the history of dogs. The other side chick gave him to me when I called and asked she thought it was poetically just.
    He may have played me but I came out ahead and left the bad dog in the dog house he built for himself.

  11. I’m a side chick at the moment. I didn’t know that this guy had a girlfriend until after the first time we had sex….which was my first time. So I of course had some feelings for him but shortly after, that went away. Knowing that he has a girlfriend, we continue to mess around. He even talks about her sometimes but it didn’t ever get to me until recently. No matter how tough you think your feels are and no matter how hard you try to be emotionless, it all comes back to bite you in the long run. We have a pretty good friendship and I guess I’ve been afraid to mess that up but after reading this blog and some of the other comments, I see that it’s time to let it go. I too believe in that bitch named Karma and I don’t feel like meeting her in my future. KNOW YOUR WORTH! <3

  12. I was once a side chick…….6 months ago I met a guy name kenneth. He seemed like a real nice guy. Not to mentioned….we were high school seniors. We talked and had pretty good conversations, he even flirted with me on numerous occasions. We exchanged numbers and a few days later we find ourselves at his house having sex. After we had sex, he tells me he has a girlfriend. I was highly upset but we settle it because he didnt want any bad blood between the both of us. I stop talking to him for like a month before we started back talking and i find myself having sex with him again. It has been going on for 6 months, and during those 6 months, he started to developed feelings for me. Telling me that he loves me and he feels good when he is around me. One day he tells me that he broke up with his girlfriend for himself and mainly for me. I was shocked but i knew for a fact that he was gonna get back with her. So I didnt buy that bullshit. But he went on talking about he want me to give him a chance and
    wanted us to start over. So like i a dummy i was, i fell for it. Then like about 3 weeks later, I find out that he went back to his girlfriend and didnt even tell me. I was real pissed off! So ever since then, ive been holding back on alot of feelings…..when he bring up his girlfriend, i get real sad and find myself crying. So ive quickly got myself out of the situation mainly because 1. i dont want to be in the WORST situation than this. 2. I dont want to be the cause of him and his girlfriend to break up. 3. I honestly believe in Karma and i dont want to meet her in my future. As much i love kenny and care for him….i had to let him go. And im not going to lie, its HARD to try and forget him because I honestly love him with all of my heart. As of now, me and him are friends, but i dont think we going to be friends that long because shit is too deep right now. I dont think is worth it to be crying and stressing over a guy like that. I DESERVE BETTER! this has been a lesson for me cause now i know not to get in this type of situation ever again!

  13. Great Read! I host an online radio show called iCandi After Dark and Friday’s topic just happens to be “Confessions of A Side Chick” I came across your blog and would love to have you as a special guest. It’s radio so you can remain anonymous if you prefer. The show is Friday night at 10:00 pm est. If you are available we would love to have you on the show. This will not be a bash the side chick show. the show’s link is
    you can check us out at our website at

    Hope to hear from you soon

  14. Im a “side chick” but ive been around the block long enough to realize your either the main or the side..all men..i dont care who tells you otherwise have a main and at least one side.
    Ive been the main…not knowing where he was when he came home late at night/ early morning..not sure why i had people hanging up the phone when i answered was awful. Now years later i have children and to be honest id rather be a side..i want the getaways..the gifts..the good morning beautiful texts..i dont need anyone up under my wing 24/7. And i still have the flexibility of seeing other people if i want.. Idk but side chick isnt all that bad

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