Being a side chick is never always easy. Sure you may have a little more freedom than wifey, but in reality you’re being clocked a little harder. Some women never know they are the side chick. Most women actually find out they’re that chick when they’re already in there. That means feelings have gotten involved and that word LOVE done ran through your mind. You know, stupid shit like that. Then there are the chicks that know the position from jump street. They go into it, knowing that there is another woman at the house and basically don’t give a damn as long as she gets hers. Now I’m not about to throw a whole lot of shade of these chicks, because truth be told I was a side chick in the past. So I’m somewhat familiar with the plight of the side chick.
I sorta kinda became a side chick unexpectedly. Years ago I met someone and off the bat he told me he had a girlfriend at home. Now in my mind I didn’t give a f*ck because I had no intentions on carrying on anything with this dude. The more I got to know him, the more I became attracted to him. I wasn’t focused on his girl, because in my mind all the attention he was giving me made her feel non-existent. In the beginning a man gives a woman the attention she wants so he can do two things; 1) Secure her ass into thinking that this is something that she will constantly get once she stays with him. 2) Turn her mind away from any other man that might be interested in her. So he was trying to get me hooked to all this “I want to spend all my time with you”. So I stayed away from other men, I didn’t go out with my girls that much anymore, hell I even called this dude “my man” in front of other people. You gotta be a real somebody for me to do that shit. Plus, anything I wanted I got; so you know my ass wasn’t going anywhere. In turn I created a happy environment for him…I never nagged him. I knew he had a woman at home and I accepted that. I knew this was something I got into and I had to live with my choice. I never allowed myself to think of her…until.
One day I went to see him at our spot and I noticed he was acting a little funny. Now I am very observant so I wanted to take note of his actions. We were sitting in the car and I was seated in the drivers seat, so I know something was wrong when he wasn’t completely facing me. So I decided to lean forward and kiss him. Now kissing him wasn’t really on my mind I just needed to get closer. I got closer and I noticed something on his neck. This mother sucker had a damn hickey on his neck. That was the moment I knew being a side chick wasn’t for me. I grabbed his neck and looked at that shit. I asked him what the hell was that, and he gave me some dumb ass story about he was in bed sleeping and he wakes up to her sucking on his neck. Yo I was born at night, but not that night. I got so pissed I tried to kick his ass out my car. He got out begging and pleading with me. He came over to the driver’s side of my car and opened my door. Now…when I tell someone to leave me alone I mean it. He wouldn’t let me go the hell on so I drove the f*ck off. WHILE HIS ASS WAS STILL HOLDING ON TO MY DOOR. Dude was screaming telling me to stop and shit. Now I know I was wrong for what I did, but seeing that shit made me realize HE WASN’T, ISN’T AND NEVER GONNA BE ALL MINE. I was sharing!!! And I don’t like to share anything other than wisdom and the occasional d*ck pics sent to my phone. *I’m kidding about the pics…no I’m not. Fellas, If the spirit moves you email them to me. LOL*J/K
You gotta be really in love or really strong to survive as a chick on the side. I vowed no matter how I feel for the person to never involve myself in something like that again. The kicker was that he talked about leaving her. A man will say that shit just to keep you at bay with the hopes that he will leave. I realized also, I never wanted to be the cause of a man leaving another woman to be with me anyway. Sure I would get him all to myself, but chances are he will do the same shit to me that he did to her. If ya’ll don’t know by now, I BELEIVE in that bitch called karma and she don’t play. I will be damned if I let my selfishness and stupidity f*ck me over in the future. Hell no! I rather be alone in bed dreaming of a sea full of big d*cks than have someone else’s man in my bed. You can keep that there.
Holla at me: Have you ever been in a side chick situation? If so, how did it turn out?
Missy
Comment made on November 23, 2009 @ 9:00 am
I have been that side chick and that ish isn’t easy. Let me tell u my girl, we woman accept it thinking couple things; 1) that I got the power for him to leave his chick; 2) we are stronger than we think when in acutality we are so weak, they breathe we melt; and 3) We down play our actual feelings and act as everything is all cool and dandy. You know when we get a reality check, when it is staring us in the face and we realize how deep we are caught up in that mess. It isn’t easy but I will not play that role again!
GJ
Comment made on November 23, 2009 @ 9:37 am
NO Clue Still on why some ladies do that.. it’s like u settle 4 less u will never get more… If it start crocked it cant get straight… well that’s what I think…
Big Up Candy Diaries all the time….
Cym
Comment made on November 23, 2009 @ 9:49 am
It’s just the wrong place to be. You should never accept half of someone thinking that it makes you whole. You need to be whole and they need to be whole. If you settle for being the side chick you need to evaluate yourself because you are insufficient somewhere and you need to heal yourself. Trust this is all fact no fiction…
BTW, u know I love the Blog!
the.kisser
Comment made on November 23, 2009 @ 10:45 am
that was a great post. a good friend of mine ‘red’ asked me to be his side chick, after months of turning him down i told myself ‘i’ll just try it and see’. am i stepping into trouble, yup, but i like to experience things at least once.
.kisses.
Bella
Comment made on January 16, 2010 @ 2:10 am
Being a side chick is one of the worse things 2 do…let me tell u now because i have seen it 1000 times (all girls school grad!!) he is NOT gonna leave wifey for u…EVA!!…i stop feeling bad when i seen girls crying etc. doesn't matter how much you love him or think you love him…they forget the feeling has 2 b shared!!!
(@TheRealViChick) (@TheRealViChick)
Comment made on January 20, 2012 @ 11:40 am
*Candy Diaries*: The Responsibilites of a Side Chick http://t.co/bW7Qr5aL #candydiaries #vintage
Madsidechic
Comment made on February 16, 2012 @ 2:07 am
Soooooo I was a side chick in high school or far too long I found myself on the phone crying most the time. I said I would NEVER do it again and for 4 years I didnt . Today I find myself in love with someone who is in love with their girlfriend
i feel so weak and I am so mad at myself for getting back in this situation. Ugh ADVICE; never be a side chick ! I’m ready to find someone of my own this post was inspiring /:) -
monna
Comment made on April 19, 2012 @ 11:32 pm
If u are looking for a serious relationship than I wouldn’t suggest being a side chic but if u just want to have a good time and dont want a serious relationship than do it. You should never commit yourself to someone that is playing the field. The whole thing about being a side chic you have to know your position. If he did it to her he will do it to you.