We all know that forgiving someone is healing to the soul, but forgetting is damaging to the heart. Almost everyone has been in a situation where they’ve loved with their whole heart, and in the second breath it was broken in two. Love is hard, but you can’t allow it to permanently damage you. When most people enter relationships they focus on all the beauty and the affections associated with it. They try to leave all the what ifs and how comes behind, because they only want to think with their emotions. We always hear the phrase “Leave room for disappointment”, but is it possible that we leave too much room for disappointment?
The sting of a broken heart can frighten anyone into not getting too attached, but doubting every single thing isn’t healthy either. I have a friend that only sees the negative in a man. He can come right out and say ” I’m feeling you and I want to get to know you better” automatically her mind interpreted that sentence as “I wanna f*ck you”. Now he might want to hit that shit, but sometimes that doesn’t mean that’s his only intention. No matter what a man tells her, she has to question it and argue with him. Ladies, I will say this again; men don’t like nags. Bringing your old situations and doubts into something new can only damage you. This girl can never give any man a level of trust because of her past. She’s officially allowed herself to be a victim. Her mind and her heart isn’t strong enough to be happy, with or without a man.
You can’t blame the new guy for your past heartache. It was a two way street. If a man hurts you and you take him back…fine. Anyone can slip up once. If he does it again and you take him back a second time, you now bear the responsibility for the way your heart feels. This means if you continuously take him back and he still does the same trifling shit he did before, you’re now hurting yourself. It only takes 1 TIME to learn a lesson. You’re not accountable for what you don’t know, but the minute you do know you can’t blame anyone else but yourself.
I know opening up yourself to someone new is a hard thing to do. You never know how it will turn out. Here is a thought though, what if it turns out to be the thing you’ve been missing. What if it turns out to make you smile at just the thought of him. You have to first accept yourself before you can accept anyone else. You have to know your strengths and weaknesses before you can even think of going there with anyone. If a situation arises where you know you just can’t…don’t. You’re in control of your heart, but you can’t penalize someone else for the last prick not treating you right.
