Anything with a penis can be trained…PERIOD! Men may not like what I have to say, but dammit sometimes it needs to be said. Ladies, do you know how to train your man? I’m not talking about the normal “sit and stay” commands like they normally do, I’m talking about training your man to better your relationship. I don’t want to get this twisted, I’m not saying only men can be trained. Men often train their women into being who they think they should be. Maybe women need to learn a thing or two and shape her new potential into being a better partner for her. Some would say you’re trying to make him into the “perfect” man, but as you all know I often say the “perfect” person does not exist. You’re simply shaping him into the man that you know he has potential to be in a lasting relationship. You know what; the title “How to train your man” might be a little too threatening for some. How about “How to shape your relationship, by making him a whole lot better than he was when you first met him.” Yea that kinda has an easier flow to it; don’t you think? Lol…
When I talk about training your man I’m not talking about controlling him. Women have a small way of trying to control the relationship, by controlling their man. I don’t do the whole “I own you” shit. When I say control I’m not referring to making him learn, understand and implement all the shit to make you feel a little more confident about your relationship. Training isn’t about YOU it’s about BOTH OF YOU. It’s working on bettering your relationship and maybe you learn a thing or two in the process.
1. Serious Discussions Make Him Uncomfortable~ Some men hear “We need to talk” and they’re asses get all jittery and what not. Some men are afraid of any kind of emotional confrontation. The trick is not to get all sista girl on him. Don’t snap your neck and sprinkle “You ain’t shit” in the conversation. His ass has already blocked you out because the conversation has gotten over the top from the start. Men don’t respond to that. I know it’s gonna be a stretch, but keeping a cool head is best in this situation. Tell him in a calm manner that the shit he did ain’t the shit you appreciated. I mean you ain’t got to say shit, but if the spirit moves you by all means go for it. Just calmly let him understand where you’re coming from. If you want to really make him understand you, touch him. I’m not talking about in a way that makes his killa monsta react. I mean touch his arm while speaking to him, it shows that even though you’re talking about important matters, it’s a non-threatening conversation.
2. He’s Too Set In His Ways~ There are some men that are just stubborn for no damn reason. If everything isn’t their way then there is no way. I like to call these men “bitches with a penis.” They act like they’re diva’s but try not to because they’ve got a penis. These men I rarely date because it’s just too much work with them. Anyway, if you do find a man and he’s set in his ways here is a simple way to combat that…compromise. Yea it might seem like an easy thing to do, but if he’s as stubborn as you think this might be the most challenging thing in the world. The fact is there are some things that you’re set on, but you shuffle things around to fit into your relationship. For instance; I’m a Golden Girls Hoe. I love the show even though the show is almost 30 years old. Now the men I’ve dated had to put up with this show because once the show is on, I’m watching it. At first I didn’t care if they didn’t like the show because hell I just didn’t care. Then I realized I can’t make someone sit through every episode of Golden Girls with me. So I had to learn to compromise. One ex and I had to work on it. We only had one tv in the house, so we would sit and watch his show BattleStar Glactica and then I would watch my show. Now I could have watched the 2hrs of Golden Girls and let his ass suffer, but I knew that was being kind of selfish. Now the tv show analogy might be very simple, but it’s often the simple things that can cause breakups.
3. Romance Isn’t In His Vocabulary~ Let’s face it, not everyone knows how to be romantic. There are some people that might not know how to do it or just oblivious of it. Either way romance is not only needed, but required in relationships. The simplest way to show him about romance is to do it. Start with the little things first. Now don’t go booking hot air balloon rides over the horizon of a vineyard in Napa or anything. Start right at home. Do little sexy things around your place and make it a fun-filled night. Show him the kind of wine you love to drink. Put on your favorite mood music or have your favorite fragrance wafting through your home. Point out the little things to him and hopefully he takes mental notes on what his woman loves. So, the next time you’re having a bad day at work and come home you see the little things that make you feel better. Then you can reward him with your sexiest lingerie and a slow screw against the wall. *Sigh* I’m talking about the drink people…get your minds out the gutter. Lmao
4. Chores Don’t Consist Of Just Taking Out The Trash~ I honestly think some men are allergic to chores. They feel well she’s the chick so she has to do the work around the house. WRONG! Men this isn’t 1952 where a woman stays home all day and makes sure everything is in place for you when you get home. It’s 2011 and just like you go out and work she does to. I’m not saying just because women are now liberal and what not that she has to keep a messy house, but men should also assist in keeping the home tidy. I think most men associate a woman telling em what to do around the house with their mothers. Ladies, you don’t have to act like his momma to ACT LIKE HIS MOMMA. A man responds to tenderness if you were not aware. You gotta have fun with him first, then tell him what you need him to do. Not sure how to go about it? You can share a laugh or two with him or hell you can play WWF for a bit. When it’s done he’ll be so damn crunk you can slip in there that you need him to paint Jabari’s room right quick and when he’s done, you can finish your playtime. He had so much fun with you, that’s he’s gonna knock it out so he can come back to his lil mama.
5. Socially He’s a Moran~ Some folks in general don’t know how to act in front of others. I’ve been caught up in some embarrassing group conversations because someone in the group says the wrong damn thing at the wrong damn time. When it comes to social interactions some people got it and some people don’t. If your man isn’t a social butterfly I read that there is one way to train him. Dr. Patrica Colvalt says the best way is to “Ignore him when he’s being obnoxious, and give him some PDA (think a kiss or a tap on the butt) when he’s acting sweet.” That way he learns what appropriate and inappropriate to say in front of others. Now some men may not even realize when you’re even upset about what they’ve said and just continue being inappropriate. I don’t know how to deal with this instance. Knowing me I would send his ass a text telling him he’s acting an ass. Shit a text is probably the most non-threatening form of communication out there. By the time he reads the text and we get in a more private spot, I’m no longer as pissed as I was and he knows how I feel. But hey that’s just me…
Fellas, don’t be pissed at me because I’m teaching the ladies on how to “train” you. This is not a negative blog, it is only here to help your relationships and hopefully establish a line of communication between you and your boo. Ladies, these are just some of my ideas, so you can use them if you wish. As you can clearly see showing a man how involves baby steps. Sometimes giving him a little special incentive for doing good can’t hurt. Like Blanche Devereaux said “Nothing sounds idiotic if it’s wet enough.”