Why do people neglect the signs? Have you ever met someone that you liked, but it seemed like everything in the relationship was wrong? No matter how much you try to ignore it, it becomes more apparent that something just isn’t right. Either they’re mentally unstable, they’re users or the timing is just off. In the back of your mind you know that it’s not suppose to be like that, but because you’re in love you ignore it and pray that it becomes better. Why do we ignore the signs when they’re clearly right in front of us?
Apparently there is no better feeling than being in love. It’s like folks wanna be in love so bad, that they don’t really care under what circumstances they’re in love. Years ago I dated someone who’s career could be affectionately described as a street pharmacist. He was a convict, a hustler and basically a cold-blooded individual. Now everyone and their momma told me to stay away from him. Hell I knew the best thing for me to do was stay away from him, but my heart got in the way. See although he was all these things to everyone else, he was the sweetest man I ever met. My heart stuck with him even though my mind told me to run the f*ck away from him. I knew at the end of the day there was nothing good that would come out of that relationship. He was stuck in a life that I wanted no part of. Everyone warned me…I saw signs…hell his grandmother told me to cut the shit short, but I didn’t listen.
Then one day while I was having an argument with him I heard soft moans coming from his trunk. That n*gga had someone tied up in the back of his car. I mean the dude was bound and gagged. That was the moment I knew being a “career criminal’s” sweet thang was not for me. I ended it that day. I realized I ignored all the signs. All the issues we were having when it came to his lifestyle and his priorities, I chose to ignore them because I didn’t want to look like a fool in the end. I ignored my mother telling me to stay away from him or she will never speak to me again. I didn’t want to hear “I told you so” from everyone that told me to go the other way. I thought my heart knew better, than everyone else around me. The second I saw what he actually did, I knew the party was over. That was the biggest sign for me. It was like God telling me “Get away from this man, or this will be your faith”. I wasn’t afraid that he would do something to me, but I was getting in too deep with this relationship. This was something that I didn’t need in my life at the age of 21. So I ended it with no regrets. A week later he was violently murdered.
When all signs point to “STOP”, that’s just what you have to do. STOP!!! There are signs all around us, and when you don’t pay attention you allow yourself to get too deep into something that you probably don’t need. If I ignored my signs truth be told, I probably wouldn’t be here blogging right now. I use to think “What if I stayed with him and was with him that night he got killed.” Maybe I would have ended up 6 feet under because I was with someone I knew I had no business of being with. It’s true you cannot help who you fall in love with, but you can help what situations you allow yourself to get involved. I’ve learned to look at the signs. I rarely rely on what some people have to say, but what the universe is trying to tell me. Everything happens for a reason and it’s our job to learn from every experience. I can tell you one thing, I’ve never dated another hustler since that experience and God knows I never will.
thacomputa
Comment made on January 31, 2011 @ 10:02 am
I was just having that conversation the other day with someone. It was more on the lines of when men ignore the signs and continue in a relationship hoping and wishings things might change and then eventually realize it ain’t gone change and it ain’t working, they considered dogs and users. Why is that? So I come to the conclusion that you should “runaway fast as youuuu caaaan” *in my Kanye voice* at the first red flag.
@thacomputa
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